I love learning new things on this journey with Christ.
We’re destined for great things, but we often just listen to the voices that make our lives small. Why settle for mediocrity, when we’re made for so much more?
I was going through a rather “mellow” phase, where I felt emotionally lethargic for weeks. I had to struggle to stay inspired. There were days when I just didn’t want to get out of bed. Some people might call it depression. I don’t know, I don’t think I was really depressed or anything. But I wasn’t feeling my best, and as a result of that, it was a challenge to give my best at anything — work, relationships, life.
I wasn’t aware that I had allowed this to become a part of my thought process, because I would always manage to find a way to justify my mellowness or emotional lethargism (new term I invented that affects many other areas of life if left untreated) “It’s okay, everyone gets mellow every now and then, right? It’s just a phase, and we all need to go through periods of isolation so we can get recharged and face the world again.”
That’s not entirely untrue, because quiet periods in life are necessary for growth. A caterpillar needs to stay in its shell for a while before it becomes a butterfly — and it wouldn’t have blossomed into a beautiful thing if it’d chosen to party with other caterpillars instead of isolating itself. But when it extends from being a temporary thing into a lifestyle, then we have a problem.
I was going through emotional lethargism the other day (which felt like a typical day, by the way. I didn’t even think it was anything to be concerned about) when a sudden thought struck me:
“If I’ve dedicated all that I am to God — my passions, my experiences, strengths, my life — and He lives in me, how can I allow myself to settle for anything less than my best? I’m doing all of this for His glory, so His name will be made known through my life. And mediocrity does not exist in God’s heavenly dictionary. God is a God who does everything whole-heartedly. He makes beautiful things out of nothing, and He puts His heart into everything He does. Humans are living and breathing examples of His work. So I refuse to be chained to mindset that I’m only made for “this much.” I know I’m made for more than mediocrity or mellowness, because God loves me and God is so much more than this. He gave me His best, and He continues to do that every single day. So He deserves my best.”
And there was freedom in that. I didn’t suddenly turn into a Carissa-on-Redbull with energy and enthusiasm coursing through my veins, but I felt like I’d gained a new purpose, and it was to apply my heart and mind into everything. I really don’t have much to offer, because whatever I can do, there are many others who can do it better. And that’s a fact.
But what I can do, is to do my best.
We’re not called to live half-heartedly, and we’re certainly not called to live in the shadows of our fear. Instead of pinning the blame on people or situations for where you are, it’s time to rise beyond those doubts and start channeling your all into your life. Give all you can, so at least at the end of the day, you can say, “I know I gave my best. Others may or may not think it’s good enough, but it’s not their approval I’m counting on.”
You are more than this. You are more than the mistakes of your past, and you are definitely more than the voices that keep you small.
So start believing in yourself, because He believes in you.